It has been 6 years, the day I held a 2.2kg (4lbs) Kyle Nash in my arms. I can still remember the rush of love, happiness, gratefulness that flowed through my veins. It was indescribable. I was left speechless and that says a lot for someone who can talk non-stop for hours and hours.
People tends to assume I don't want to have kids: "Ayaw mong sundan?" "Pwede na! Sundan mo na!"
You know the best answer that I say nowadays that left them SPEECHLESS as well: "Kausapin niyo mattress ko." (Talk to my uterus!)
I hope the message is clear - the statement is indeed clear - I didn't have it easy with Kyle. I knew a couple of moms who have gone through even worst but mine wasn't easy! I remembered crying at night after taking all those hormonal pills thinking: "What have I done wrong? Why can't I have a baby like my friends? I'm a good person naman di ba?"
So this, my friend, is indeed a full blessing from God. I remembered praying earnestly every single night: "Kahit isa lang! Please, Kahit isa lang." (Just give me one please, just one!)
So I don't want to be greedy, at this point of time, if it is God's gift and in God's time, if HE thinks I can have more HE is in charge. As for now, I am enjoying every single moment of Motherhood.
Kyle, I lack sleep and always wake up with painful body from your random kicks at wee hours of the night! I get exhausted chasing you wherever we go and I felt embarrassed so many times in public whenever you threw tantrums!
But Kyle, I am just human, so it is normal for me to have all sorts of feelings - the pains and joys of motherhood. If there's one thing I can assure you of is that - given the chance to do this all over again - I'd say YES gazillion times.
Because all the pain, sacrifices and efforts cannot surpass the extreme gratitude and happiness I felt every single day! You give me more meaning to live, you made me strive to be the best version of myself because I know you look up to me (and your dad) as an inspiration. You made me the best person that I can be.
